The Garden

Piety
Piety is a virtue that I simultaneously struggle with and embrace. The word itself seems to have a bitter sanctimonious feeling to it for me. Before I could examine the concept I had to let that go. I realized that I was confusing piety with proselytizing, since in the Christian tradition those two concepts are closely linked.
The word piety comes from the Latin word pietas, meaning dutiful conduct. That is a much broader definition than the ADF definition, which only focuses on the Gods and Spirits.

Piety according to ADF is: "Correct observance of ritual and social
traditions, the maintenance of the agreements (both personal and societal) we humans have
with the Gods and Spirits. Keeping the Old Ways, through ceremony and duty."

When I though about people who were pious one thing they all had in common were their dedication to following through with their beliefs. Their actions showed their piety more than any talk could. I feel that the difference between a person who is pious and a person who is not is similar to the difference between someone who says “I should” and a person who says “I do”. One person takes action on what they believe, and the other does not. It is about relationship between beings. It is the most action driven of the priestly virtues, bringing the insights and ideas gained from wisdom and vision into the real world. Piety is sacred duty and sometimes that sacred duty is changing poopy diapers, and sometimes it is offering scented oil to a hallowed fire.
There is no minimum requirement of piousness. Because piety is honoring agreements and duty, and each person has unique circumstances, the expression of piety looks different for everyone. In Bill Plot kin’s book Nature and the Human soul he speaks of soul initiation, which is where a human on the edge of adulthood finds his sacred vision, her personal meaning of life. I believe we all have such a purpose that we can discover and when we find that meaning it is our duty to work toward that vision. Then we are pious. To find that sacred duty we must access our wisdom and vision. To complete it we need perseverance, and to stay true to our vision we need integrity.
However I think that like all the virtues, piety can have a negative side as well, without a balanced life, if sacred duty is all you have, you become blinded, self-righteous and unable to connect to others. Without moderation a pious person could destroy the very connection they are attempting to make.
As I grappled with this concept, I came up with a definition. Piety is the act of connecting with Gods, Spirits, and others in a way that keeps agreement, duties, and obligations. It is finding your sacred duty to the world and living it. It is an inspiring act at it’s best, bringing beliefs into the mundane world for us all to see. As I came to grips with this virtue I developed a relationship with the Baltic solar goddess Saule, who is a wonderful example of piety. She performs her sacred duty every day without fail. The vision of Saule as a capable upstanding working woman has sustained me and given me the strength to work with my own duties and obligations to find ways to be happy and capable.

I've been reading Triumph of the Moon by Ronald Hutton looking at the development of modern witchcraft, mostly from a matrix of victorian repression, industrialism, rebellion against the church, and a few other things.

One part of particular interest to me was the discussion of the development of various scouting movements in the early 1900's. It talks about how boy scouting and other scouting organizations were formed at the time to connect with nature with varying degrees of interest in pagan type spirituality, native american spirituality and the quaker movement. The differences between those who were christian and those who were not were interesting, causing a fair amount of splinter groups. More interestingly was that the original scouting program was started by a man named Seddon who focused on nature and native american spirituality. Later Boy Scouts was formed with a much more nationalist military bent. Seddon focused on a tribe format while Badon-Powell focused on an army format. Amusingly I already knew most of the story, from childhood. In girl scouts they tell you about both of them, but skip the pagan part.

In my own experience girl scouting was a powerful transformative experience. My younger self found a deep place in herself staring into the fire at dawn, discovering the diamond studded velvet that was the vastness of space so unlike the pallid grey sky over my house. Singing songs in a circle. I missed all this when I grew up and found it again when I became pagan. I’m not the only one, I’ve talked to many other women who found that their experiences in Girl Scouting led them to paganism. The overtly pagan elements of some of these groups seem to have all faded with time, yet I found a deep spirituality of earth and tree when I was a young girl camping with my friends in the woods. It seems to me that Girl Scouts has always been more focused on the tribe format, while Boy Scouts was more militaristic. Never having been in Boy Scouts, it's hard for me to say.

It's been a while since I posted on a regular basis. Most of my friends have moved over to facebook, so I no longer use this as a social networking site. I'm working on expanding my readership for my blog, in connection with my budding art business, so much of what I posted about gardening and art goes over there now. However I find that because those are very public sites, where anyone, including my in-laws regularly reads my exploits, I can't express much of what I am doing in my spirituality these days. Because of that I thought that I would revamp my LiveJournal account as a diary of my exploration of paganism and druidry. These days I am a member of ADF, a druid organization. Part of what they offer their members is a learning program called the Dedicant Program. I have been working on it for about a year now. Recently I made an oath to finish this program by next midsummer, so I've been working on it steadily. I am planning on discussing the books I read and the thoughts I have about what I learn here on this journal, so if you're not interested in that I won't feel bad if you unfriend me, but please consider friending me over at Facebook, or following me on my blog. Thanks.

Updates on me:

Life is pretty good, we've bee going to lots of fun events around town, the Westside festival and Lansing's 150th birthday celebration, both only a couple of blocks away. Tommorow we're going to Jerry's mother's family reunion out in Port Huron, on his parents' land. I made a little dress for Ailee to wear. I let her pick the fabric, and she chose a black and white plaid I picked up for steampunk stuff. She looks amazingly retro, especially with the vintage buttons.

So I've been steadily setting up my etsy store and supporting web junk. It's a little overwhelming, but I'm having so much fun with it. I made my banner yesterday, and I totally scored a bunch of great materials at a estate sale today, including a 1930's dictionary with tons of tiny illustrations and a pair of delicate beautiful women's leather gloves. The question remains to just sell the gloves, or try and do something arty with them. Only time will tell. I keep finding more things that I can sell at my shop, experiments that I had fun with but won't ever use, I feel so free knowing that I can make stuff that I don't have to keep! In a house with two rambunctious children I can't really decorate the way I'd like to, but the idea that I might turn some old junk and trash into something that someone else would decorate with is great!

So far I've got my flickr account and my blog connected to each other, and once I have a few items listed, I'll hook it all into my etsy shop. I'm still focusing on making my blog more interesting and useful, getting readership up and all that. If anyone has any ideas for me that would be great, it's at

www.dandelionladyseeds.blogspot.com

if you want to see my cool banner goodness, my etsy shop is at

www.dandelionlady.etsy.com

I am the ruler of all things dandelionlady!
Bwaahahahahahahah!!!!!

So recently I've been reading _Math and the Mona Lisa_, and I've become absorbed by the ratio of consecutive numbers in the Fibonacci sequence, 1.618. I'm using it in my art and trying out some of my old rusty geometry and algebra skills. I never though that taking AP math in high school would lead to more painting. I just finished reading a novel by Chris Cleave, _Little Bee_. It was disturbing and though provoking and beautiful. I liked it. I'm also reading _The Honey Handbook_, _The Way of the Shaman_ by Michael Harner, _Images and Symbols_ by Mercea Eliade, and the June issue of Martha Stewart Living, cause sometimes you just gotta look at pretty pictures.

BTW, check out my blog for a couple of photos I took on a walk with my new camera. I loves it.

So I haven't posted here in forever, and really the reason is that I've started a blog. I've been so busy getting posts up there I use up all my computer time with that! It's really exciting for me, since I'm hoping that I will use the blog in conjunction with an Etsy shop. Yup, I'm officially working on selling my art. It's been a thought for a long time, but finally I decided that I was producing more and more work, and eventually It was going to take over the house, so maybe I should try to get rid of it and turn a profit at the same time. Right now, I'm just blogging about an art journal I'm making along with some sustainability stuff. What I'm hoping to do is focus on art that is created with sustainable materials, either eco friendly, or recycled. I have a couple of ideas, I'm working them out and I'll see what I like doing and of course, what sells. So I won't be posting here as much, but please check out what I'm doing over at Dandelion Seed on the Updraft and I'll keep posting here when I can. I hope everyone is having a great summer!

Here it comes!
Camping!
Hanging out!
Rituals!
Walking in the woods!
Fire!
Whoot!

Jerry's parents have graciously opened their land for us to camp. Our ADF style Druidic ritual will be at 2:00 on Saturday. Children are welcome, but be aware that there are two ponds on the property, so water is a hazard for the young and impetuous, as well as open fire. We will need donations to cover the port a potty, and for everyone to pitch in and help clean up on Sunday, thanks in advance. Unfortunately we aren't allowing dogs, as my MIL just got a new dog who is still adjusting.

When: June 12th, noon until June 14th 2:00
Where: 7050 Comstock Rd Jeddo MI 48032

Directions to:

7050 Comstock Road
Jeddo MI, 48032


-Take the I-69 east through Flint and beyond. You'll take the I-69 to exit 184. This is the exit for Emmett, Sandusky, Yale and many more towns.

-When you get off the I-69, you'll take a left and head north. You are now on Michigan Road M-19. You will take this road north for a while. The road meanders with big curves. It will take you into the town of Yale.

-At the center of town, you will hit a traffic light. Take a right at the traffic light. The road you are on is called North Street (will change name to Yale shortly).

-You will drive on this road a little more than 9 miles. It will eventually turn to the right, take the turn. The road changes its name again, its now Comstock Road. My parents' house will be on the left about a half mile up. Turn into the third drive way. If you enter a river valley, you've gone to far. Turn around and my parents house will be the first on the right.

It's been a while since I posted, so here goes. This weekend, we visited the in-laws out in the country and we had a nice time. Other than the time that Ada climbed up on the barn roof and looked over the edge. Other than the time Ada ran straight for the pond as if her only plan was to dive in and sink to the bottom. Other than the time that Ada nearly tipped over the bar stool while sitting on it. Or the time we couldn't find her because she was hiding. Other than that, it was great! Sigh. Oh yeah, last night, our first night back in our house, was a trip to the ER with Ada because she fell out of bed, split her lip and bled all over everything. Happily she didn't need stitches. Keep your fingers crossed that my little hellion survives until her next birthday.

I was reading a blog I often read and I saw this entry and it made me think about what we do when we say we're celebrating the wheel of the year, and why we do it. I think that need she talks about for children to learn and be taught the sounds that farm animals make is connected to our need to celebrate the changes of the seasons and the sun that surround us. There is a deep need for us to connect to the land and the animals that are on that land. I also love how she talks about the darkness inherent in farms and farmlife. It makes me think of Ragana the witch goddess, eater of young men and bringer of fertiltiy and how her power peaks and wanes but that she isn't seen as the devil or evil, just part of what is. I think this is such an important thing for us to grapple with as adults in this time and place. It's too easy to see the darkness as bad, to see things as all good or all bad.

I am happy to announce that we are hosting our Midsummer campout again this year at Jerry’s parents property.  It will be the weekend of June 12th – 14th.   We will have a bonfire, grill, rituals,  and all sorts of fun.  It will be kid friendly, though there will be open fire and a nearby pond, so the young and adventurous will need to be supervised.  I’m planning on doing some kid crafts and stuff with our two girls, and I’ll bring some to share if you let me know if you’re bringing kids.  There’s also some lovely state land kitty-corner from them that we’ve had a nice time visiting as well and if it’s warm enough we could take a trip to the beach at Lake Huron.  A donation to help pay for the port a potty and some help cleaning up at the end are all that we ask, so please come and enjoy some time together with us.  I’ll get directions to those who need them, and please if you can just let us know if you plan to come so we can let Jerry’s parents know about how many people to expect.  See you there!

I just finished watching the last episode of BSG after a rather intense and odd Ostara ritual experience. It's left me in an odd mood.

I often feel like life is a pathway leading me somewhere. I'm no Starbuck, that's for sure, and I wonder how many other people feel that tug, that need to do things just because it feels right. It makes me feel crazy and out of step with the rest of the world often enough. But I have learned as an adult the talent of persevering, though it was not something I was good at as a child. So I keep on trying, wandering, thinking all the while life would have been easier in many ways if I had stuck with college and gotten my PhD or stayed at my job as a computer tech and risen in the ranks to some kind of middle management of cube farm land, gotten some kind of job I mildly disliked rather than quitting when I did.

I remember the day I quit working for EDS as a call center tech. Jerry and I walked in together, we worked at the same place. We had been working weekends for a while and I had gotten used to pretending I didn't work in a cube farm. We were back on weekdays and it was horrible. He told me to quit, and I kept saying I shouldn't. I sat down at my computer and stared at the blank black monitor. I knew, without a doubt, that if I turned on that monitor I would do that for the rest of my life. I could see my life laid out before me, walking in the footsteps of the other plump, mildly unhappy women who worked in that sunless place, staring at those pale washed out prints of Monet and Cezanne. And so I stood up and walked down the aisle between the eight cubettes that were in my row. It was hard, I remember, I felt outside of myself, like I was someone that I didn't know. I walked up to my team leader and said something along the lines of "I quit. Today is my last day" and stood there, blank. I had never quit anywhere and didn't honestly know what to do next. She asked me if there was anything they could do, she seemed worried about me, for a moment her true personality peered out behind the managerial mask. I said I was fine and smiled. It was when I smiled that she went to get our manager. A man. The women usually were only team leaders. And so we did an exit interview and I gathered up my things into a box. I left my husband there in the florescent light and walked into the sunshine. I felt so free. I was free. Life sucks sometimes still, but in so many ways, I'm still free. I heard that distant song on that day I think. There are days that change our lives. Crux points in our own stories that change everything. I think many of them we don't even notice. They pass us by like a breeze over frozen water. Sometimes I think I can feel them coming like a storm on the wind. So I listen for the breeze and that distant song leading me over the horizon, into the future, walking on the past, surrounded by the present.

Thanks Jerry.

I love watching the wildlife out my backdoor. I think one of the advantages of living in an old neighborhood in the city is that there are a lot of old trees and an amazing amount of wildlife. I was watching the newly returned robins scouting my new raised beds and a squirrel deciding which of the choice spots he should hide his black walnut in. There's a pair of bluejays making lovey faces in the cherry tree, and though we rarely see them there's two different kinds of woodpeckers about. I haven't seen the woodchuck since we fenced the yard, which makes me sad, but with the kids it's just not safe without one. I haven't seen the cardinals as much this year either. I'm hoping that the toads we imported from a neighborhood a mile to the north will settle in and have toad babies. That's not all of them, just the ones that I know what they are. There's this little coal black bird with a white belly and a yellow beak that has been hanging out in my yard in increasing numbers. Sometimes I wish I lived with access to some woods, but at least I can wake up to birds singing their happy songs in the morning.

Jerry and I went out on saturday night thanks to Nick, which was great! We went to Travelers Club and then to Second Time Around and found 2 cute outfits for Ailee, clothes for Jerry and a pink pullover for me. It was really nice to be able to look at things w/out the small ones along for the ride. I took the girls to the science museum this weekend and they wore themselves out there. I love that place, in the winter it's one of the few places we can go that isn't all about buying stuff.

In other good news I got the saws-all back out again and started ripping apart the old compost bins where I plan to plant fruit trees this year. I'm also having to move the smaller pile of concrete blocks, so my heavy labor for the spring is laid out before me. Gyms are for the weak! Or at least those without concrete rubble piles in their yards. Ailee's growing like a weed, all the clothes I bought for christmas are now way too short. I'm pretending they're 3/4 length sleeves. Ada is now throwing playdough all over the the floor shouting "WowWow!" every time she tosses more. Oh and last thing, I absolutely LOVE my new front loading washer.

I just joined facebook and found a bunch of old high school friends. It was crazy!

Where the Spirits Ride the Wind
A very cool book if you're interested in ecstatic trance. Written by a linguist it chronicles her experiences using body posture as a way to control the outcome of trance induced with rhythm, It was really interesting how she was able to show examples from all over the world of identical postures used by shamans and in statuary of hunter gatherer and horticultural societies. It appears that the information was lost if the cultures became agrarian. She identified about 30 different postures, though I am excited to look at images from paleolithic times and explore for myself.

Trees Truffles and Beasts
This one is about the complex relationship between fungus, trees, and truffle eating animals in all forests, using the Pacific Northwest and Australian forests as specific examples. It was interesting, but I felt that it became a bit repetitive. One thing I learned is that when I plant trees I plan to get some soil from a healthy forest to inoculate my soil with fungal spores.

Son of a Witch
I saw Wicked this summer and enjoyed it a lot, so it was fun to get back into the series. I enjoy the way he shows very real human behavior against a backdrop of fantasy. He has a gift for making you appreciate the consequences of actions, and the effort required to actually change anything,

The Balts
I read this as an e-book, since it's not in print anymore. Mostly it was a long account of pottery types and burial rituals, though there were some nuggets of usefulness about the deities of the Baltic area. I wish there was more information about the ecology of the place, along with the metals and other resources. Still it was a place to start, and I will probably come back to the last chapter on religion. I am jealous of the jewelry, baltic women had gorgeous stuff.

Everytime I go to the chiropractor, I drive down Saginaw Ave past the old GM plant complex. Those buildings are so big that trains had tracks right through them. Huge garage doors like dark mouth opened and swallowed the tracks that led into them. You couldn't see what was inside, just the huge parking lot full of cars attesting to the fact that there was a hive of humans hard at work inside. Now weeds grow in the parking lot, and when I drive by instead of seeing a dark gaping maw I see blue sky through the door. They're tearing it down from the inside out like a wasp larvae eating a hornworm caterpillar. Even though I think cars are inherently flawed as a mode of transportation and basis of culture, it disturbs me to see the beast dismantled. Honestly, I'm surprised at my reaction, I suppose it just shows that deep down I really am a Michigan girl. Buy American! I can't imagine how it must affect people who see the car industry as their home, their place. My uncle works for Ford, my father designs RF radio equipment for car companies. I wonder if the wasteland will eat us all sometimes. The Snake is eating his tail, I keep trying to keep ahead of the vertebra he's chewing. I think that's why I'm disturbed. Survival instinct. It's difficult when logic and instinct conflict. I just breathe through it. Let the panic pass, focus on the small details of life at hand. Try to design sustainability into my life, try to be patient when I can't. Hope I'm lucky. Make my offerings to the Gods and hope it's enough. Trying to change the world by changing my own. It's a lot like tearing down a huge beast.

So we're finishing up the winter holidays, and I find that I am hopeful and looking forward to the next year. I have a hard time at this time of year, the lack of sun gets to me, but overall I think we've had a pretty good time. We had our first family solstice vigil and it went really well. We made a outdoor cave for a goddess image and kept candles lit to honor the sun while we were awake. It was really nice this year. All the snow made a great cave and Ailee gave me a statue of a mother and child for a present that we used with great effect for the image of the goddess. Ailee stayed up with me until 12:30 when I convinced her it was time for bed. I'm still amused that she outlasted me. It felt like a good omen to me that the sun was bright and strong on the snow the weekend of the solstice. It's been a cold winter so far, but at least all that snow magnifies the sunlight like crazy. It's so dismal without it.

As for christmas itself, because of the weather we postponed visiting the inlaw until the weekend after the day, which worked out really nice. Jerry and I opened presents our presents after we set out the kids on christmas eve. It was nice to be able to focus on ourselves while we opened our presents instead of wrestling with packaging and twist ties. I find myself enjoying our visits to Jerry's family these days. I guess I've finally relaxed around them. We had a pretty good time and my mother in law has finally started to understand how much smoking bothers me. We daydreamed about building a house on the back hill again. It's a pipe dream we just cant seem to let go of. Theres even three oak trees already planted in a row just to the south and downslope of where we would place the house for summer shading. I love that land.

New Years was a lot of fun. We met Robbie, silverbriar's ten week old son and I remembered how wonderful it is to snuggle with someone so young. All of us parental types who had kids with them took turns visiting the crazy party over at j_daddy and ari_moonchild's. We had lots of other visitors wander over as well and felt like a lovely part of the whole thing.

Personally I've been a bit of a grump through a lot of it, but I'm pulling out now and it feels good. I've been working on my art projects again, started carving my first woodcut block, and I'm making up these antique jumping jacks to hang up some of which are so creepy it's amazing that kids played with the things. I like them though. I'm planning on making some jumping jacks of my own design. I love the idea of artwork that pops up or is moved or interacted with by the viewer. I always want to touch artwork it seems so naughty and yet so good.

Got the christmas tree up, it looks good, though all my favorite aka. breakable ornaments are hiding on the back. I used to be obsessed with having a perfectly beautiful tree, a martha stewart style tree. The placement of the ornaments, the way the garland draped, the spacing of the lights all had to be carefully adjusted. I was obnoxiously exacting. I thought it was impressive. It was mostly really stupid. I stuffed the lights on, and let the kids hang the non breakable ornaments where ever they wanted. It looks really nice. It doesn't have garland cause Ada is in her destructive phase and I didn't want our cool home made paper chains to get ripped, so I hung them in the dining room. I had fun with that one. I've had the kids pain newspaper red and green and then cut it into strips and made paper chains. It's cheap and I think the texture of the paint and print is much more interesting than plain construction paper.

Jerry is on the final push for this semester of classes. Its hard but hopefully he will be done soon. I went and got the tree myself yesterday with Ailee. We went to Peacock Tree Farm and it was spiffy. We spent three hours there visiting Santa via a train through the woods, he was in a beautiful log cabin with an outdoor firepit with really tasty hot cocoa and marshmallows for roasting. There were reindeer that Ailee ignored completely and a playground where she made a new friend and we all played three little pigs. I was, of course, the big bad wolf. On the way home Ailee and I talked religion and it really amazes me how much she grasps. As a pagan druid I tend to be leery of putting too much of my religion on her, but at the same time I feel like she needs a basis to build from and compare with when she's older. Still when Ailee gets down on her knees in the dark snowy drive way, closes her eyes and hold her hands up in an invoking gesture and says that the spirits are happy, I am a little weirded as well as proud and amazed. I think I've given birth to a future high priestess. She truly amazes me.

We got a new back door! Jerry and I are both so geeked. The screen door is better at blocking the cold than the old door was, let alone the new door. I never would have thought that I would stare at a door and admire its white doorish beauty but I do. I is happy!

A couple of mornings ago I was driving Ailee to school. When I pulled to a stop I noticed that the water seemed extra thick and viscous on the windshield. It was refracting the light in really interesting ways and it was hard to pay attention to driving.
The colors were very clear and seemed intensified. Lights from neon looked really cool, the beads of water reflected it all along them so it seemed like streaks of light were climbing down my window.


Books I've read recently

The Fire Dwellers by Margaret Laurence This is a book that sat on my shelf for years after I bought it and never read it. I felt like it had a lot to say about my life as a stay at home mom.

Stalking the Wild Asparagus by Eull Gibbons This is a classic. I got some great ideas for permaculture in my yard from it.

Fledgeling by Octavia Butler Her last book and I was crushed to find out she had died. She was an amazing writer. She took sci-fi to places no one else could take it.

Forest Gardening: Cultivating an Edible Landscape by Robert Hart. Interesting, with some good ideas. It is an english book however so the weather is warmer there and some of the idea aren't applicable here.

Recently, as part of my druidic studies I've been keeping a log of my mental discipline practices. I've also been sketching and painting a lot too. Between the two things I've discovered that I can switch handedness. I discovered it by sketching with my left hand once this summer when I was at the beach and the baby was sleeping on my right arm. I was amazed that the sketches were better realized than many I've done, The layout and overall flow of the images was far improved. I've continued to experiment with switching hands and while my right hand is more practiced, my left has a much better sense of color movement and design. I find myself doing my best work sketching in the large image with the left and doing the occasional details with the right. I have to keep taking the pencil or brush from my right hand and give it to my left. The right is grabby.

All this has led me to another realization that when I focus on my left hand my mental stance changes as well. I notice color and form much more. I am more creative and better at trance and meditation. However when I focus on my right hand I find I enjoy driving, puzzles, geometry, and thinking logically more.

This is where the mental discipline comes in. Part of what I do with my trance work is create mental anchors for different states of mind so that I can easily go into and out of meditative and trance states. I began to wonder if I could do the same for right and left handedness, and I have found that it works really well. I focus on the information coming into either the left or the right eye and pretend to paint with the left hand or write with the right and I'm switched. It's really great. I've had all these abilities within me my whole life, but often I've felt conflicted as if I was fighting myself, creativity versus logic. Now I feel I'm harnessing and controlling those aspects of myself so that I don't drive when I'm spaced out and tranced and I can express my artistic vision so much more clearly. I feel like I've been trying to see the world through smoky glass and now the way is clear. Honestly it's like discovering there's this whole other person inside of me. When I am painting often I start with my right hand because I'm still more used to it. Things go okay, but I am dissatisfied with where things are going. Then I realized and switch hands and suddenly I am fixing what is wrong without really knowing what I am doing. It's like I'm giving control over to my subconscious and the logic cognitive part of me is cut out of the equation. Very weird, but so thrilling!